


Letters Sent

by boundean



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Doctor!Cas, F/M, Fluff, Letter form, Long-Distance Relationship, Love Confession, M/M, Marriage Proposal, More tags to be added, coffee shop AU, deaf!Cas, mechanic!Dean, stanford!sam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-05-08 22:20:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5515409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boundean/pseuds/boundean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of letters exchanged between Dean and Cas, crossing all settings and stages of relationship. Not all will be linked and they will vary. Tags will be added as I go!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Know My Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas chooses to write a letter to Dean and hand deliver it. Sometimes it's better to have something tangible when reminiscing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Deaf!Cas

_Dearest Dean,_

_I’ve chosen to write you this letter instead of telling you myself. You always thought it was more meaningful to have things in writing. So you could keep it and look back on it with a fond memory. Also I don’t think I could get through all I have to say without tearing up._

_I know it’s been a long time since we’ve seen one another. Believe me, I know. And for that I’m sorry. Every day I think about you. About the last time we saw each other. What you asked of me and… I’ve been giving it a lot thought._

_I love you. I miss you. So much and I can’t bare to be this far away from you when I could be holding you in my arms at night. What I’d give to lay my head on your chest and feel you sing. Feel your chest vibrate with the low rumble of your voice I'll never be able to hear._

_There’s been times in my life where I thought about giving up. I had an awful childhood and an even worse young adulthood. Then you came along and things changed. Sometimes it’s been too much for me to handle by myself but when I’m with you, I feel like I don’t have to worry about my past. You know my demons and yet still want to be with me._

_You still want to marry me._

_It’s strange. Marriage used to be abhorrent to me and with good reason. I didn’t have the best relationship role models growing up. Now though… Now though I couldn’t think of anything I’d rather do more. Than to marry you. To be your husband. To grow old with you. And even though I won’t be able to hear your beautiful voice say those vows I’ll know you’ll mean them. Because that’s who you are. And I know you._

_These two months apart have been pure torture and I miss you so much. I miss how you furrow your brow just slightly when you try to focus on something. I miss the little pout you make when things don’t go your way. I especially miss the way you mouth the words to your hands forming words I can’t hear. You’re so special to me, my love. And I’m sorry it’s taken so long for me to come around. I love you and I will for eternity._

_So I’m here… If you’ll have me._

_All you have to do is reach out and accept this ring. Spend this Christmas with me planning our wedding._

_I love you with all that I am, my being. Please, say yes._

_Love Cas, The man (probably already in tears) kneeing before you_


	2. The Big Reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas have been friends for a while. Three years in fact and Dean cant take it any more. He can't hide his feelings any more. Since Cas is away with family for Christmas this year, Dean takes the easy way out and send him a letter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mechanic!Dean and Doctor!Cas AU

_Hey Cas,_

_There's something I need to tell you. And... although I'd prefer to tell you in person, this will have to do. I need to get this off my chest._

_Remember when we first met? It was a Monday, raining, you came into that coffee shop I was working at drenched and shivering with a look on your face that could kill someone. You ordered a cinnamon light soy latte (which I will never understand why you like that shit by the way). You had such a clipped tone and I'm pretty sure that scowl was embedded into your skin. I thought you were a dick at first. Who could blame me? You left as quickly as you came and I was sure that was the last time I'd see you so I didn't feel bad for talking about you behind your back._

_I can't even remember what I said. I think it was something about having to surgically remove the stick from your ass?_

_Anyway, I'm getting off track. And I hope to god that you're still reading and I haven't pissed you off yet. Please just- keep reading._

_You came in the following day. That same damn trench coat on and scowl. Ordered the same shitty drink even. This time though, you looked at me. Actually looked._

_~~I thought~~ _

_~~Fuck, the feeling tha~~ _

_Shit, I actually don't have words for how I felt. No ones looked at me like that before. All I could see was the vibrant blue of your eyes and everything just faded away. You don't know any of this and I really hope that you keep reading for the reason why I'm telling you this._

_I said hello. You returned the greeting and we complained about the weather. It was just trivial things but honestly? That was one of the most interesting conversations I've ever had. We became buddies, man._

_Cas, I'm not that good with words. And I'm even worse at talking about my feelings but I have to say this. So... I guess I'm just gonna say it. I love you._

_I fucking love you, Cas._

_It's hard to see you everyday and not touch you. It's killing me and while you're there in New York probably focusing on your family for the holidays, I'm here in Kansas, surrounded by people and I only want you. It fucking sucks ass that you don't know any of this. Though... that's why I'm telling you... Shit... Let me start over. It's painful for me to hold it in all the time. In a perfect world you'd love me back and we would be together but, its not. And you're just a friend - my_ best _friend - which is why I needed to tell you. You deserve to know._

_I've tried to fight it. I have and I hate myself for the fact that I can't contain it anymore._

_This letter is a confession. But most importantly, it's a goodbye._

_I can't keep doing this. Even if you wanted to be with me I'm just a mechanic and you're a freaking doctor for the love of god. How can I be anything you want or need? I- I'm moving on Saturday to be closer to Sam and Jess while he's studying in Stanford. Big shot lawyer that kid will be. Heh, you'd probably argue with me, '_ It's too early to make that assumption, Dean' _. Um, anyway my last shift at the garage will be Thursday ~~and I hope~~ and if you (by some miracle) feel the same way I do then, well..._

_I love everything about you Cas. Even that old trench and small head tilt. Hell, I love you even more for that. I just- I can't. I'm miserable just thinking about leaving but I have to. It's the only way for me to move on and for you to find someone who can make you happy. Someone who will be good to you and bake you those chocolate chip cookies you like when you're sick. Someone to sing you to sleep when you've had a late night at the hospital. And I- I can't do all that. I need to leave before I try and make myself look stupid. Again. I've done it before and I'm not doing that in front of you._

_So... that's it. I hate it but that's how it is._

_Goodbye, Castiel. I will always love you, even when I try not to._

_\- Dean W_


	3. Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam's been gone for just over 3 months. He misses his brother and sometimes wishes he'd never left in the first place. However, if he stayed, would he be the person he is now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stanford!Sam and Mechanic!Dean

_Dean,_

  
_It’s been a while hasn’t it? Almost 3 months since I’ve seen you in person. I miss you. And I guess I should apologise for leaving so abruptly but I couldn’t let dad know I’d been accepted into college just yet._

  
_What if he made me work at the shop? I’d be miserable._

  
_I didn’t like it there, Dean. I know you tried to make it the best place possible for me and I’m sorry I can’t see past what dad has done to truly appreciate it. It sucks._

  
_I know right now you’re probably defending him but honestly there’s no need. You and I obviously have different opinions on the man and… That’s okay._

  
_For a long time I thought it wasn’t but I guess I was wrong._

  
_Dean, you love dad and I think I used to… But with everything that happened? With mom, with the shop, it felt like he blamed me. He made it seem like I was the problem. Maybe it was just me feeling guilty and having dad there might have given me a reason to feel that way but I honestly don’t know._

  
_Dad always treated you better than me and in the beginning I’ll admit, I was jealous. How could I not? I’m sorry. I hope you can forgive me for leaving and maybe we can start fresh? Go back to how we used to be? If that’s at all possible. You could come over to the place I have? It’s not much but It’s mine and it’s my home. I um- I also met this girl and I’d like it if you met her. Her name is Jess and she’s… She means the world to me already. I don’t know what I’d do without her._

  
_But I also don’t know what I’d do without my brother too, Dean._

  
_I need my big brother back. Please._

  
_Love,_

_Sammy._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be sure to comment with some ideas for some more! Any paring, au/canon and pov :) thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE: again all of the letters posted here are not linked unless specifically mentioned in title ie, part 1, part 2 and so on. Enjoy the letters of Dean and Cas!


End file.
